Fueled by Ramen
by PrincessSerenity101
Summary: Ramen is revolutionary. There is nothing like it. Usagi exhibits the behavior one experiences when they eat ramen SM style! Rated for blood and violence


Fueled by Ramen

_Summary: Ramen is revolutionary. There is nothing like it. Usagi exhibits the behaviors one experiences when they eat ramen SM style!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon._

Usagi yawned as she put her head on the table. Minako sat on the table with a sigh. On her shoulder was a little plush toy. It was Usagi basically. However, the face was comically wider and slightly shorter in length. Its pigtails ended at its shoulders. Its eyes were closed. It had a microphone its hand. "Welcome to _Fueled by Ramen_!" it shouted. "I'm your host, Usa-chan!" Minako rolled her eyes. "The damn author calls this thing a muse?" she muttered. "She's a moron. And _you_ are annoying."

"Heh heh, I tried telling her that when she created me," Usa-chan sighed. "Of course, she wasn't listening. She was too busy reading Sailor Moon doujinshi. Anyway, today, we are going to experiment with Usagi and ramen." Usagi's head shot up immediately. She held her hand up, chopsticks at the ready. "Ramen! Doko, doko, doko!?" The small plush toy sighed. "Hold on. Makoto, ramen." Makoto came out with a bowl of ramen and set it in front of Usagi. "Itadakimasu!" she grinned. Minako and Makoto sweatdropped at the sight of Usagi.

In a matter of minutes, the ramen was gone. Usagi sighed, "Wow, the author isn't _that_ bad. Sure, she put me in a threesome and always has me end up with Rei-chan one way or another…but she gave me free ramen. No one ever gave me free ramen." The room became silent. No one said a word or moved in inch. Half an hour later, Usagi got up. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." Usa-chan fell off Minako's shoulder. "But…you're supposed to fueled by ramen!" she shouted. Usagi shrugged and left the room.

"Nice going, Usa-baka! Are you going to buy ramen for Usagi? Huh?! Money doesn't grow on damn trees you know! And what am I supposed to do with the youma I rented?!"

Usa-chan sighed. "Shut up, Serenity."

_Take Two_

"Again, this is _Fueled by Ramen_. Usagi's going to eat the ramen and get fueled," Usa-chan sighed as she sat on Minako's shoulder. Usagi sat at the table waiting excitedly. "Makoto, ramen." Makoto came out with ramen and set it in front of the blonde. "Itadakimasu!" Usagi grinned. She ate the ramen. It tasted better than last time! When she was finished, she licked her lips. She stood up and flexed her muscles. "I feel energized!" she yelled. "I feel strong! I feel like kicking Mamoru's ass!"

---

As Mamoru watches TV at his apartment, he sneezes twice.

---

Suddenly, Usagi's communicator went off. She searched her pockets for it. Soon, she answered. It was Ami. "Usagi-chan, youma have captured Rei-chan. Please hurry…AAAAAAH!" Usagi and Makoto gasped and rushed out the house. "How come I get the feeling this is gonna turn into a Rei/Usagi and Makoto/Ami fic?" Minako asked. Suddenly, she and Usa-chan heard snickering in the background. Usa-chan sighed, "Ikimashou, Minako. You don't want to be near Serenity when she plans."

---

Usagi and Makoto stopped when they found the youma. It turns out they were hiding near the place where Chibi-Usa fell from the sky. Usagi rubbed her head at the thought. When the girl had fallen, it hadn't been painless for Usagi. Looking around, she saw Rei and Ami being held by two youma. She pointed to them to show Makoto. Thinking about, she realized there was a lot of youma. Soon, they surrounded her. Makoto had moved from her spot and glared at the youma. Wisely, it released the Ami. As the two embraced and kissed, Rei rolled her eyes. "What about me?" she asked. Predictably, she was ignored.

Meanwhile, Usagi was in trouble. "Well, well, well," one said with a smirk. "Is this small girl Sailor Moon?" Usagi gasped. How did they know her identity? This wasn't good. The youma walked forth. Usagi's eyes were wide. What was she going to do?

Suddenly, a rose pierced one of the youma in the chest. It fell to the ground. It was dead. Everyone turned to the source. Most of the youma parted, forming a path. Usagi could have ran away, but she stayed in her spot. At the end, Tuxedo Kamen posed subtly as if he were important. "Attacking a defenseless girl is cowardly! I won't forgive that kind of fight!" Usagi glared at him. How did she go from the love of his life to a defenseless girl? She was the one who saved his ass throughout most of the series! Quickly putting on a fake smile, she asked, "Tuxedo Kamen-sama, can you throw a rose at this youma right here?" She pointed to one behind her. The caped man grinned and nodded. He threw another rose. He was surprised when Usagi caught it. She put her head down, her eyes overshadowed by her bangs. "You think I'm defenseless?" she asked softly. "You think I can't fight without transforming? Are you trying to be sexist?"

Tuxedo Kamen tried to tell the girl otherwise. Usagi lifted her head and glared at him. She threw the rose back at him. It pierced his head. "But these were the ones with the poisoned tip," he muttered as he fell to the ground.

"Go, Usagi!"

"See? She's fueled by ramen."

Minako, with Usa-chan on her shoulder, stood next to Rei and the youma holding her. "How did you two get here without anyone noticing?" she asked. Usa-chan sighed, "Does, 'Anything goes in fan fiction!' ring a bell?" Rei glared at the plush toy. "You're annoying." Minako nodded in agreement. Next to the three, Makoto picked Ami up suddenly. She ran away from the area. Rei cursed the brunette.

Meanwhile, the youma closed in on Usagi. "What are you gonna do now, Sailor Moon?" a youma asked. "You killed off the only person willing to save you." Another youma grinned. "And that _Fueled by Ramen_ crap won't work." Usagi took a deep breath for a second. She was determined to save her friend. Then, she felt a youma breath down her neck. "Did you know that you're paying Serenity for the ramen?" Usagi turned around quickly. Her face foretold death. It didn't matter, though. The youma died where he stood.

"See, minna," Usa-chan sighed, "Looks _can_ kill."

The youma, however, didn't back down. "Yeah, Serenity thinks your allowance will cover it," one said. Usagi looked at the ground, her bangs overshadowing her eyes again. "Pay?" she asked softly. "What means this…_pay_? What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"That's Usagi-chan's official way of indirectly stating you're death," Minako stated.

A pink aura outlined her. She lifted her head with an insane smirk. The youma backed away. Not only could they not stand the evil color, they were just basically scared of the girl. She flexed her muscles. She was fueled by ramen. As the pummeling began, Usa-chan snickered. "Though we can't put this into detail due to the rating, we'll give you an idea of what happens with commentary."

Suddenly, the scene was replaced with a chibi Usagi throwing her tiara. There was no sound at first, but the commentary started right away.

"GO, USAGI, GO!"

"Damn, I've never seen Usagi like this before…"

"Yeah, 'cause you're the one who usually goes postal and kills off Mamoru in these fics."

"I should burn you…"

Suddenly, a crack was heard. No one spoke. Usagi was hyperventilating. "Why are you running away!? You should've known death would come to you!" Then, Minako began crying. "Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!" she screamed. "If only the Outers could see this," Rei sighed.

---

As the Outers watch TV as a family, they sneeze.

---

Finally, the scene went back to Usagi. She was covered in blood. She took a deep breath and let it out. The youma holding Rei ran far away, never to be seen again. Minako slowly walked towards her friend with a towel. With a trembling hand, she wiped Usagi clean. "Did you know that the youma lied about paying for the ramen?" Usa-chan asked. "It was?" Usagi asked. Usa-chan nodded. "The youma only said that so you could display what happens when you're fueled by ramen." Usagi nodded slowly. She looked at Minako. The girl was freaked out. She was scared of Usagi. Usagi tried to poke her, but she jumped away. Usagi gasped. She looked at her hands with disgust. "What…what have I done? These hands…their tainted. I hate them!" Tears rolled down her cheeks. She fell down and began crying. She noticed someone grabbing her hands. She looked up and saw a smiling Rei kneeling before her. "Well, I love them."

---

Michiru stood up suddenly. She became angry. "What's wrong, Michi?" Haruka asked.

"Someone's using our scene!"

---

Usagi hiccupped. "Really?" Rei nodded. "Just because you scared the hell out of Minako, and you killed a lot of youma, and killed Mamoru doesn't mean that you should hate any part of yourself." Usagi hiccupped a little more. "Demo…" Rei silenced her with a kiss. Usa-chan ordered Minako to clap. The scared girl clapped slowly. "A-are you sure this sh-should be c-called _Fueled by Ramen_ anymore?" she asked. "Usagi was obviously fueled by rage."

"_AFTER_ she was fueled by ramen," Usa-chan sighed.

Rei pulled away with a smile. "I love you." Usagi smiled back and embraced her. "I love you, too."

Usa-chan put on its first real smile. "Well, folks, that was _Fueled by Ramen_! The stuff is revolutionary! Eat some right now! Stage off!"

---

On the planet Kinmoku, Seiya, Yaten, and Taiki looked around. "What the hell was that?" Seiya asked. The other two shrugged.

---

Minako threw the plush toy to the ground and kicked it. She had had enough. The plush toy lay on the ground. "Serenity, I need a mode of transportation please!"

_Fin…NOT!_

---

The scenery had changed. Usa-chan and Minako were in a white room. There was a TV, DVD player, and a remote. "Actually, it's not the end!" Usa-chan shouted. "I 'begged' for Minako's forgiveness…"

"You threatened to make Usagi mad again!" Minako yelled. Usa-chan snickered. "Well, we have one last scene to show you. It's the alternate scene. This way, the fic would have been short."

Minako grabbed the remote and pressed play.

"_Moon Eternal, Make-up!"_

_Usagi transformed and demonstrated how a real henshin was done. When she took a pose, she looked around. Everyone, including Rei, got nosebleeds. Eternal Sailor Moon had successfully defeated the youma with her…assets. She ran over to Rei. "Damn my henshin," she grumbled. No one had a spare tissue so Sailor Moon did the only thing she could think of. She kissed Rei. When pulled away, the blood stopped flowing. "You know Usagi," she smiled lazily, "You're sexy." Her friend's sailor fuku disappeared as she pulled down for another kiss._

"And that is all, folks," Usa-chan sighed. It opened its mouth once more, but Minako glared at her. "Don't say it." Usa-chan sighed one last time and said, "Stage…ja ne, minna."

_-Fin-_

_doko-where_

_doujinshi-fan comics_

_And that, minna, is the end. The plush toy really is my muse. It can only talk, sigh, shout, and snicker. It rarely smiles. It says negative comments and annoys everyone. It calls me a moron. Basically, it's an idiot. I only keep it because it helps me write. I also mentioned my stories in this, too. Anyone who's read most of them would notice. So, please, review. And who knows? I may bring Usa-chan back in another fic ;) Til next story_

_Serenity101_


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